Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
