so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
