Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
