Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
