i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
