I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
