he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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