He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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