are you still at the devil's house?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
