Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
