I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize