im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
