I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize