May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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