Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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