Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
