hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
