Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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