I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize