i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
