Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
