we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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