I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
