So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
