I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
