I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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