He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
