He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
