We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
