let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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