Yo dont text me then not text me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize