My underwear smells like fireworks.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
