Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
