I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
