Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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