Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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