youre lurking in front of me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
