Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
