I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
