Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
