so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
