im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
