Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
