i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
