Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
