I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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