that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
