At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize