Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
