i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
