my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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