Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
