New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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