nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
