So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
