I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
