Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
