FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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