At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
