I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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