Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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