i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
