If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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