between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
