And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize