im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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