How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
