I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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