that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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