i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
