Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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