In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
