He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize