Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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