no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
