Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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