I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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