In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
